Living between Realism and Idealism

Entries for June, 2008

June 2, 2008

[362] From a somebody to an anybody

Just for the sake of updating.

There's nothing much going on around here. Besides having to help around the house and scream at the pup-bitch, I am an everyday free-agent. I love this period of not having anything to do. But it makes me pretty restless at home for having too much of excessive time to spend.

I still have one more month of not-having-anything-to-do. This duration is not long enough to start on a hobby, and it's too short to start on a new routine.

You know, I feel that there is seriously a different face that I put up when I am in Batu Pahat. Over there, I am a confident, vocal, aggressive and competitive bitch - and there is not a day when I will doubt my capabilities and also personality, and not to mention, my physique too.

But the main thing is the confidence factor. Probably is the no one is better than me mentality that I keep having. Or perhaps, the way I carry myself, I am perceived to be really good in whatever I am doing.

So, when I am there, I portray myself as being a somebody.

Being a somebody makes me feel good, alright?

But when I get back here, I go back to the-same-everyday things, and get back to my comfort zone, and of course, I let my guard down.

This is when I switch from a somebody to anybody in Ipoh.

It's weird, huh? I mean, I didn't put up a face intentionally. I always hoped that I could be the same person wherever I go. But the problem is that when society perceives you to be a certain kind of person, you are inevitably moulded into someone whom you might least want to become.

How you turn out in society or in a community is just a matter of perspective - how you are viewed from people's eyes. And those perspectives are conjured from people of different society background, different outlooks altogether. The way they see an individual differs.

So, who am I to blame when I see the existence of split personalities in myself (not in a psychological manner) in geographical terms?

I guess I might not be making any sense here. But it's just odd. Oddity at its best, huh?

| music | Intuition - Jewel
| mood | thoughtful

Filed under Daily Dose | feeling sick?

June 7, 2008

[363] Good stuff ahead!

by chenyeng2706 | 03:18 PM

To people who knows, there has been an ongoing war between Google and PayPerPost. There are a lot of special terms used to make their catfight sounded mature, and makes the whole war seemed legit.

Me, being the everyday victim-of-circumstances, suffers from the little rift and subsequently, I was stripped off my PR. I was a PR2 and now, I am back to PR0. I have ranted, bisinged to everyone I know.

Although now that we have something known as RealRank (read here) and advertisers on PPP are supposed to select bloggers based on that, but it's sad to realise that most of them are still referring to the original PR.

Google is (or was) penalising bloggers with blogs that are associated with paid posts, sponsored reviews, sponsored entries, etc. And so, to salvage whatever good graces I still have with Google, I had to resort to delete all of my sponsored posts.

I have slightly more than 50 entries which I have wrote for two months after STPM. And now, all gone.

PPP Entry Deletion

Here's a printscreen of some of the entries I deleted. Heart pain pain oh.

I also had to remove PPP's tools from my side column. There are no more traces of PPP's stuff in here. Except for the tracking code in my template. I needed that to keep track of my RealRank and also retain my existence in PPP.

So now, among all the bloggers in PPP, I am ranked ...

My PPP Status

# 4861

I don't care anymore. Nobody wants bloggers with PR0. Bleh.

The sister is coming back tonight. And one more thingo.

I went and got myself a haircut. My hair is short.

Short Hair

How does short hair goes on me? Does it look good?

(Actually ...)

Last semester's results came out, finally, after a long wait. And I happily announced that I managed to qualify into the Dean's list.

Super duper happy. And I was (bleh) 0.03 points short of my target. It was kind of disappointing. But in a overall note, I am happy.

So, YenYen & Tattko. Do I still deserve the promised present?

I think I managed "take care" of my nocturnal self. I am back to sleeping early now. Good thing. Three more weeks to spend. And I'm heading back to hell's hole soon. (Hell's hole = exaggeration)

| mood | thirsty

Filed under Daily Dose | 1 person vomitted

June 16, 2008

[364] Anything, that is.

by chenyeng2706 | 03:48 PM

I don't feel very much into updating on anything.

Point blank, people who are plain ignorant and oblivious to everything should be shipped off to a far off island and be stranded there. Or maybe, just stay off the unseen, drawn line between me and you. I don't need you to be coming over to me, because clearly, I just don't need you.

My laptop is currently in the kilang. Apparently, the motherboard gave up on me the second time ever since it was named under me. I suspect that the nVIDIA motherboard is not that much of a trustable product. The guy in Acer called me and told me that the motherboard is malfunctioning.

He also mentioned that currently, there aren't any nVIDIA motherboards (which is the same as the one that I'm using currently and the one that is compatible with the whole laptop) in stock. He offered me an option whereby I could have an Intel motherboard, which is relatively cheaper than the one that I have and he would top the deal with an upgrade on my RAM.

Erm, reality check. Having an Intel motherboard is equivalent to saying byebye to my nVIDIA GeForce Go7300 graphic card, because it won't be compatible with an Intel motherboard. And Vista's performance won't be at its best without a decent graphic card.

The laptop's model is an Acer Aspire 5583 WXMi. I managed to grab hold of that, which only has a limited number of them sold in Ipoh. The warranty dies this month though. Which is a turn-off. Luckily got it into the kilang on time.

So, of course, having the RAM upgraded won't be necessary because 2GB is good enough for me. It's not like I would run programmes, functions and applications over-exceeding 2GB. And I love having whatever offered to me initially from the laptop when I first bought it to be as it is until I finally decided to give up on it. So I wanted the same nVIDIA motherboard and I don't mind the longer wait.

However, I told the fella that I need to have my laptop back by the end of June - because he said the whole order-deliver the motherboard from Taiwan and back to Malaysia would stretch out to early July. Hell no!

I feel crippled without my laptop! Well, although it would just sit right in front of me, almost every time, but I'm used to having it sitting just there and I could just use it whenever I needed it. Bah.

And this update is for Tzy.

| mood | itchy

Filed under Daily Dose | 2 person vomitted

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