Living between Realism and Idealism

Entries for November, 2008

November 8, 2008

[376] Kebodohan yang tidak terhingga (Immeasurable stupidity)

My finals started a couple of days ago, and the academic management folks actually lumped three papers in three consecutive days. The first paper was okay-lah, a 2-credit subject, Ethnic Relations, just 60 MCQs. The second paper was a 3-credit subject, Management Information Systems, which had me mugging four chapters of facts on information systems development, enterprise applications like CRM and SCM, e-commerce, ethical dilemmas and moral dimensions in the IT world today, all within 24 hours. I guess I would never had bothered to go through it unless the time was due. The third paper was Management of Technology, my core subject, if I fail this paper, I cannot proceed to any subjects pre-requisited with this subject. This paper had me going on a trance about technology forecasting, technology transfer, innovation in technology, with technology push and market pull. Bah.

Speaking about MoT. I am absofckingly tulan with it. Never in my 1.5 years in that university I got a mere 50% of carry marks in a subject. This kind of shitty score is for people who never bothers to attend lectures, never participate in tutorials, produce zero-quality assignments with English so horrid that you can never go pass their first sentence in reports. And I got only 35.7 out of 60. What is the relevance? Where is the logic? The worst thing is that the tutors are the ones who gives us this score, not the lecturer.

Apa benda nih?! Apa kemungkinannya?! Adakah logik?? Adakah saya bodoh sangat, sampaikan 40 markah pun tak kesampaian?! Sememangnya kebodohan yang maksima yang tidak tertanding. Tapi kebodohan tu bukan kat saya. Kat pihak-pihak yang tertentu.

What, do you mean that you expect perfection in our final presentation with high-technological elements in our prototypes and all? You mean making our prototypes out of papers and marker pens just can never graze through better scores? What is this? What happened to the essence of an idea? The financial and resources limitation draws the line on our capability, and you just easily present me with a death penalty.

Thanks a lot. Being a tutor just really equates you to a god in MoT right now in my life. And with you around, I am dying.

So the next paper is scheduled to be the 18th of November, Electrical and Electronics Technology, a 3-credit paper, and it scopes around 7 chapters and all essay questions. The last paper is Organisational Behaviour on the 20th of November. I like this subject the most, partly due to the fact that I am getting aces from it. I got 52/60 as my carry marks in this paper. I am getting pressures from friends around to seriously score in this subject because there's another girl who got the similar score as me, but they don't like her. [Think: typical nerd, seldom talks, hides in the corner to study, never shares notes or anything extra that she knows about, and damn kiasu.]

It is just soooooooooo tiring this semester. Four subjects weighing 3-credits. Three subjects weighing 2-credits. Hidup tak senang, mati tak susah.

I am back in Ipoh now, since I have a 12-day interval between the first half of the finals and second-half. I didn't come back home during my study week. Being at home just makes me feel good. There are any worries about what to eat for lunch time and dinner time. No sudden hungry pangs. Food is just bountiful.

Anytheway. When I was trying to doze off last night, betweent the transition of being awake and trying to fall asleep, I had a very short nightmare. I felt a presence in my room, I couldn't scream, and I found my husky standing beside me with red eyes, and she pounced on me. I woke up sitting, spitting the word "SHIT!".

Serious wudthefookness.

Damn bodoh. Of all nightmares to have. That's the shittiest one to get. It was random, I could have screamed out any words in my idiotic vocabulary. And I chose shit. Tahi. Faeces. Sai.

Thank you Mr Morrison and Mr Powter for your new albums. I just don't know how to express the thrill in me. I am so the G, L, A, to the D for them. Yea, lame attempt. Ha. Ha.

I shall head out to scout for food. More updates soon.

| show | Last One Standing E14

Filed under Daily Dose | feeling sick?

November 10, 2008

[377] When the clock struck one ..

by chenyeng2706 | 01:26 AM

I had a thought. What if I die tomorrow?

Would I have regrets? Looking at my own dull life, just a typical student, worrying about my CGPA. Is this what all there is to life for now?

I crave for excitement at times. But there is always something hovering above my head, pulling me back, never wanting to face uncertainties, which for the fact is the essence of excitement.

Sometimes, I don't really like Cancerians (read: yours truly). They just overthink things, and may get quite complicated as well.

Tak pasal-pasal cari benda 'tuk fikir semasa malam-malam buta. Baik 'gi tido je. 'Ngada betol.

Filed under Daily Dose | feeling sick?

November 11, 2008

[378] Sparking chemistry during chemistry ..

by chenyeng2706 | 12:14 AM

I can still remember that day. All the upper six classes facing the assembly ground were relocated to other classes. Our class got sent back to our previous year's class, which is much nearer to the canteen!

I remember that me, MichelleT, and YenYee chose sat at the back of the class, quite distant from the fan which was in the centre of the classroom. The class was arranged to have columns that seats 3 students, 2 students, and 3 students, which will make us all form 4 rows. A simpler reach for KA1 to throw questions and yell at us, and along the way, giving us a clearer view of her bulging eyeballs.

Everyone had their partner(s) to sit with. Except for one. That student sat at the 2-student table, which seems comfortable enough, because a fan is directly above the table.

Since we had only 25 in the class, it is just normal to have someone without a seat-partner.

During the whole progression of the day, I didn't even realise that person was sitting alone, because we were all walking around most of the time, no teachers coming in for classes that day because it was supposed to let us spend time to relocate the whole class and clean the place that we were relocated to. All we did was just wipe our own tables and chairs, sweep a bit of dust off the floors, and then we settled down to concern around, or just walk to the next door classes.

The subsequent day, KA1's class was scheduled in the first two periods of the day, which I detest the most. I always had to tell my AUD (my assistant) that he was to man the board for that day's morning duty because I have my core business to attend to.

After I arriving to school, sign the namelist, round the school a bit, wait for the assembly and the dispersal, follow my classmates back to class for Chemistry.

Everyone settled down in their seats, and waited for KA1 to enter. During the wait, then only I realised that the someone was sitting alone. So I thought, What the heck, right? and shifted over beside that person.

I gave a smile and muttered a hello, and KA1 arrived immediately after that. Both of us just sat next to each other throughout Chemistry, without any exchange of words.

9.00 a.m. finally came. Goodbye KA1.

Then I turned to my seatmate and asked, "Why are you sitting alone at this table?"

"Because of the fan-lah", in which then he pointed upwards. That place is bleeding cold when it is raining bytheway.

Then our conversation took off from there. We shared a lot of similarities. [Some wrong facts were posted earlier on. Now removed. Paiseh. Sorry-lah. When I say I tend to mix up facts, I really do mix up facts. Lol] He likes to cook and eat, like me! Lol. I also remember that (don't kill me if this is wrong) he told me that he reluctantly joined this class because of KA1, the second Biology class has already reached its maximum capacity when he applied over, so he had to come over to this class.

He is much smarter than me who only scraped through 5A's for SPM. Makes me feel so inferior sitting beside him.

Then out of the blue, we started to talk about ambitions. Typical, right? These are the things to talk about when you have exercised everything else. Lol.

He said that to pursue Form Six is not really what he wanted. He said that after STPM, he will take up another diploma course. Naturally, I asked "What course? What for? Aren't you tired? Move on-lah."

"I want to pursue a career in culinary arts. So I have to start from the basics - which is a diploma."

*drops jaw* "Seriously?"

*nods head* "Yea, what's wrong?"

And guess what, he really did pursue culinary arts after STPM. He went all out for it. Immediately after STPM, he started all the application business, and this is what I called as drive. He was determined that culinary arts was the thing for him, and so he didn't let any doubt to fall in his way.

We turned out to be (very, very) good friends since then. Minus the physical distance and our respective commitments, we kept in touch. We don't talk often, we just IM, read each others' blogs. Once in a while, exchange SMSes, calls were the classic blue moon. We just click, and I reckon that it's good chemistry, minus the pun, lol.

He showed me some of his works today.

KeeShen's Magic #1

KeeShen's Magic #2

He makes me understand that ambition is something that pursue out of passion and inner drive. And to see his work/magic makes me happy to know that he is doing something he likes. To go after his dream.

To me, that is courage - a courage which I do not possess. And yes, I am jealous, but in a good way. It's not the kind of jealousy where I will be enraged, screaming hellfire and damnation, worry not!

KeeShenie, I am happy for you. Even if your magic in those two pictures is just an everyday thing (in your faculty), but it symbolises something to me - passion.

Go for it, okay? Nothing can hold you back. I'll be behind you, backing you up all the way. That's what friends are for, right?

| mood | okay

Filed under Daily Dose | feeling sick?

November 29, 2008

[379] Budding out of dormancy ..

by chenyeng2706 | 12:28 PM

I just got back from a week-long trip from Ipoh to Taiping, and it was indeed hectic!

Taiping's fishing village, known to be as Pulau Pasir Hitam, is amazing. Living in a fisherman's down-to-earth lifestyle, drinking, eating, bathing, cleaning and thriving on rain water. The people there are very much dependent on the rain. More updates soon!

Taiping Fishing Village

[We were searching for clams]

| mood | awake

Filed under Daily Dose | 1 person vomitted

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